Above the front doors extended the club's marquee, the sign, apparently hand painted, read "Persian Gulf Surf Club", flanking the doors were two more signs — "Land Mines — Step Lightly or Don't Step At All" and "Bring Your Own Board, We're Tired of Losing our Rentals to Enemy Fire".Once inside, the décor was a bizarre mix of California surf culture, Middle Eastern war zone, and Arabian Nights fantasy, complete with artfully painted camel mannequins, a group of tables under silk tents, a bar in the center inside the shell of an M113 armored personnel carrier, and a waitstaff of lovely young women dressed in desert camouflage short-shorts and tight t-shirts. Surf boards, some of them with distinctly non-family-friendly paint-jobs and slogans, adorned the walls, and all the male employees wore fatigue pants and Hawaiian shirts.The music coming over the speakers mounted on poles was an eclectic mix, as one of the owners was a country & western fan, another listened to nothing but classic. Just a year ago he would never had taken thiskind of verbal abuse, but here in the GOT & CHA trade embassy, it wastheir rules. "My attorney and I have serious problems about the terms ofthis contract."Mr. Bix scratched himself where a human's sexual organs would be, but whoknows with Aliens. "Yo, what's your problem, Whore? It states that inreturn for paying you one million Zulac's, you will be transformed into afemale employee of Biz's Traveling Extravaganza, the finest sex showtouring this Galactic Arm. The Bimbo-morph-ifer will make you a super-finepiece of Ass. You'll be everything a G-Woman ever wanted with big firmTits, a great Ass, and legs all the way to here."Nervously, Mark pointed out, "That's part of the problem. According to thefine print, even my personality and memories may be erased or altered atyour whim. Not only that, but the terms of employment is open ended givingno set time limits for return of the original personality or re-payment ofthe debt." My attorney.
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